The Beginning of Waiting

Your biggest life changes can happen so fast and when you least expect it. They can also seem so trivial until you look at the bigger picture. Mine came in the fall about 4 years ago. I was taking 15 credits at the local college, and working full time hours at a part time job to get ready for a Grand Opening. I was tired, exhausted really, but I figured I was just getting too little sleep, had too much stress, and was working my mind on overdrive getting ready for mid terms. My parents had decided to move out of the little town I had grown up in, and my mom knowing I didn’t take change exceptionally well thought I was depressed, my dad, well he thought my constant tired state was as uncharacteristic for me as, say smoking weed. After multiple arguments I finally agreed to go to the doctor, just so I could prove that being right about the cause of my tiredness was burning both ends of the candle.

I somehow was able to schedule an appointment with my busy schedule, and finally got in to see my primary care physician. (Some may wonder why I don’t just say doctor; its because she isn’t one, she’s a Nurse Practitioner). I don’t know how many of you have gone to the doctor for depression, but here’s how it went: she explained some things to me, pulled up a questionnaire and left the room. The questionnaire was a series of questions one would expect to be on a depression evaluation, plus it included the typical choose one of the five bubbles of which statement you feel is most true, with the middle being neutral.

At the time I thought it was a waste of my time because I knew I wasn’t depressed, I was happy with where I was at in life. But I also knew it was necessary to show that wasn’t the cause of my exhaustion. I also did some blood tests, and let me tell you just how valuable a good phlebotomist is, because it makes all the difference to a person like me who hates needles! And then I waited. That was when unbeknownst to me that the waiting game would truly began. That was the day that unknowingly my life would change.