Inadequacy, Fear, and Moving Past it

Do you ever have that overwhelming feeling where you question whether you’re good enough? Or that what-if fear of failure? Trust me you are not alone, everyone has those days, me included. It usually begins with overthinking a small thing, and then slowly grows into this black cloud that blankets your mind. 

I recently begin losing myself to this black cloud of self doubt, so I turned to this group of amazing woman who, like me, are interested in giving back and building a business. I laid it out, admitted that I was feeling inadequate, and out of place in every aspect of my life- I wasn’t sure if I would get any response, I was nervous to hit that post button. But those woman came forward to lift me up and embrace me with such genuine kindness and loving support! They let me know I wasn’t alone, they gave me self care ideas, shared their own struggles and just embraced my fears of not being good enough turning them into nothing with their validation that I was worthy of everything in my life!

I came to realize that I am not alone in stumbling through life and these types of feelings. This fear of not being good enough to…. whatever it might be, is just that a fear. Each of us have different feelings of being inadequate- for me its wondering if I’m good enough to pass a test, or to get the training at work I’ve been asking for, even whether I’ll be a good mother when that time comes around. Lately that has been a big one for me, watching my sister with her three kids when they are whiny or fighting and I no longer have the patience to be around them no matter how much I love them- I have to remind myself to take a step back. Step back and simplify things; look at the bigger picture. I tell myself that of course I’ll be a good mother, that it’s always different with your own kids because you are with them every single day watching them grow, learning their personalities.

Taking that step back, simplifying things, treating yourself, talking to others- that’s how you move past that feeling of not being good enough, that fear. You have to take one step at a time, love yourself in all your glory and flaws. This journey in life takes the most unexpected turns and twists and sometimes you have to remind yourself that you are worthy of all the blessings and you just need to slow down and breath.

For my fellow bookworms, or anyone else reading this, I once came across something in a book that resonated with me so much that I wrote it down so I could always look back on it and that is the following from book #5 of Catherine Brockmann’s Troubleshooters,

” Break it down into smaller moments. Heartbeats if you will. Boom. You take one step forward. Boom. You take another. Boom. Breath in. Boom. Exhale. You don’t set your eyes on the end of the week, because that’s too far away. That’s an impossible goal to achieve. You keep it doable. You don’t look beyond that very next step that you’re going to take.”

For me this is something I really struggle with, because I’m a planner- I love lists and planners and knowing what I’m going to do. But sometimes that just becomes too overwhelming, exhausting even! I lose the enjoyment in the little things, in the sunrises and sunsets, in the kisses from the one I love, and that is where the fear and feelings of being inadequate kick in. I lose myself in trying to plan for the unexpected journey that comes with life.

So if you can take just one thing from this post- remember to slow down and simplify things once in awhile. You’ll thank yourself and you’ll enjoy more when you don’t lose yourself to this fear. Take one step at a time, love yourself for you are only human and this is your life- don’t let fear steal it away.